I label porn as the silent killer because the biggest lie the devil uses when struggling with this issue, is that “You are the ONLY one who has this problem“.

First of all let me say that I have been there secretly struggling and the only way to conquer this addiction is to be open to your pastor, wife, mates, discipler’s etc and seek help and pray.

Men, we need to be open

We as men struggle with being open to God, our family and friends and so we believe this lie and we keep our issue of addiction to ourselves and we die.

Kirk Franklin and Wife on Oprah talking about his porn addiction

Not only does our secret sin kill us spiritually in making us hypocrites but our addiction also kills and hurts the people closest to us, like our wife/ future wife and family. Just ask the wives of Michael Guglielmucci and Kirk Franklin (who I admire to stick by their addicted husbands) how hurt they were.

Church stand up and rescue your men

Who remembers the interview that Kirk did with Oprah? I did and reading the excerpts again, it reminded me just how silent this addiction is and how ill equiped the church is to solve this problem.

When he was 15, Kirks says he began getting serious about his faith and went to his pastor to talk about his struggle with pornography. “He sat back in his chair, and he took a puff out of his cigar,” Kirk remembers. “He said, ‘Oh, you’re young—you’ll grow out of it.’ He had no idea that he spoke death into my life. That shut me down because [I thought], ‘Well, someday I’ll grow out.’ [Instead], I grew in—and I grew in deep.”

Most churches are like this, they just fog off the problem and young men just hide the problem as no one gives them the time of the day and then they get married and think it will solve the problem. It does NOT!

Open up for discussion

Have you struggled with this addiction before? Do you know someone who does? What helped for you to deal with this addiction? What help/ advice would you give someone?

I was once told by my ex-Pastor when I went to him: to just keep busy. Let me say that it does NOT work either…

Update 11th September

An excerpt from a Crosswalk article from the booklet by Ed Young Sex By Design.

Overcoming Sexual Addiction

Therefore, if a man cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. Now flee from youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. – 2 Timothy 2:21 – 22

The first step is to make a decision to change. Notice that Paul says, “IF” The Holy Spirit can convict, but He can’t do what only you can do, and that’s to decide to change. It is a personal decision.

If you decide to repent and turn from sin, then God will bless you and your decision. And you will be able to move forward in the next three steps which are so critical.

1. Flee youthful lusts. What is Paul saying? Choose the right track. Youthful lusts are the wrong track and will only lead you to a destructive lifestyle.
2. Pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace. Not only do you need to get on the right track by fleeing youthful lusts, you need to choose the right target, which is Jesus Christ! He supernaturally…and He alone…can change you and change your appetite and change the cycle that has led you into this captive lifestyle.
3. With those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. You have to choose the right team and leave behind those who would tempt you to go back to your old lifestyle. You need to surround yourself with godly, sanctified people who can help you stay the course.

Update 23rdh October

Monday Morning Insight gave some stats about porn:

Almost 60% of Christian men and 37% of pastors admit to strugge with pornography. 35% of women also struggle with porn.

and October 26th to November 2nd is “Pornography Awareness Week”

Related Posts

• Do you struggle with Porn? (1)
• The Christian Pop Star movement (6)
• Why Do Pastors Blow it? (6)
• Porn Help Resources Needed (5)
• What Are You Holding Onto? (1)